YELLOW PAGES

lets watch a movie, i decided. there's a big flat screen on the wall, why to waste the internet ?
i turned on the TV,

suryavamsham on its mother channel,

jeene nahi doonga, on other channel.

man... why don't these guys find something else to play on TV.. why it should be always, these south dubbed Hindi movies.. i have watched them so many times. even in the original version.

lets watch Hollywood,

oh man.. not again the charlie and the chocolate factory.
predators, Jurassic world. come on .. i have watched them so many..... many times..

to select a movie is like mission impossible.

i gave up... and some mellow dramatic Hindi channel playing ads..

man bites an apple and screams.. a lady breaks in through the wall

kya aapke toothpaste me namak he ?

i was like.. nahi beta... 

kya apke ad me logic he ??

no.. tell me something ? who gave you the permission to tresspass in any random home??

and their list doesn't end here.. 

in their toothpaste, there is , salt, clove, neem, pudeena, mint, charcoal, or pata nahi kya kya ...

in future, there will be, chat powder, pepper, pudeena chatni, tomato sauce, and even coriander.
you can use that toothpaste as substitute to your food.

I wasn't over toothpaste and another ad popped.

bottled water...  oxyrich. with a tagline...now with more oxygen.

lets break this guys.. water.. composed of two atoms of hydrogen and one atom of oxygen. H2O
and this oxyrich comapany is gonna add one more atom of oxygen as per tagline....

dude that will be H2O2, hydrogen peroxide and that will kill you!!

so should i purchase it for drinking or to cure foot fungus ?

damn it!  and i changed the channel

A-1 mosquito repellent, now with mosquito go away technology,

seriously, they haven't sourced their resource team it seems..

mosquito go away technology ? seriously ? seriously ??

sounds like a kindergarten kid was framing something like 

"hey mosquito go away''.. and the team added technology in front of it.

how lame.

and there came this one ad.. oh my god... i saw that on some social media..

it was a soap ad  called TAPAATAP... 

 traffic police asks for license of a scooty rider  ..

and the convo goes like this

''licence ?''

''licence nahi.. tapaatap..''

"tapatap ??''

''hhhaaaaaaaaaannnnnn!!''

and an irritating background voice..

sahi he bhai.. means.. you don't need license for driving.. all you need is a tapaatap soap..

hhhhaaaaaannnnn!!!

ok ok.. lets focus on tv.

ohhh  .... face wash ad..

nowadays face wash is anti-darkening, anti-ageing, anti-pimple, anti-this, anti-that... and the advanced one.. anti-pollution.

shoooot! now i can buy a face wash and can control the pollution of our city. that simple.

you don't have to wear mask, just apply some face wash and it will control pollution and you can breath some fresh air.

and don't ask about these fairness cream ads.. 

alag hi level ka swag he!

you wanna get successful?  then you have to be fair .

logic ?? no .. there's no logic. if you are fair then you will be a successful person . this degree, talent, quotients, ability, experiences are all nothing.

so basically , to create an ad you have to throw the possible logic in dustbin

the logic throwing technology

and find some irrelevant reasons and give some senseless name.
and your ad is ready.

 i dumped the plan of watching movie .

i don't wanna criticize.. aaaah no

actually..

 i am criticizing.. cuz its yellow pages!!